as i’m sure you will remember, i totally don’t like reading books. i basically have no use for what i’m sure is a banal pastime in this modern age of tmobiles, TV movies, and glossy magazines with lots of pictures. however, in my frequent socializing with high society and the celebrity elite around and about new york city, i am often in the company of people who have not only read but who have also actually written books.
so i’m sure you can imagine my surprise when i saw that my literati glitterati homeboy jt leroy was outed as not actually existing. as you may recall, back in october (check the archives, biotch, cos’ i’m too lazy to link it), when accusations of JT’s unreality were being bandied about in the local rags, i not only had a moment during which i questioned my own existence but i also came to JT’s defense. but then i totally realized that me worrying about not being really real was actually just a result of over-doing it with the club drugs and that it’s important for me to make sure that ingesting recreational drugs doesn’t render me so fucked up that i won’t be responsible for taking my prescription medication when i’m supposed to or i’ll lose track of things like distance, time and spatial relationships.
that was a really important lesson. but not half as important as it is to make sure that when you french kiss a literary superstar, you better make sure that they’re not some literary hoax because apparently that’s par for the course with people who write books. mark my word, my dear little biotch, you will have to field emails from them for months about how much they want you to edit their books, even though you keep telling them that you don’t even like books as you attempt to continually steer the conversation back to the topic of lip gloss. you will ask them repeatedly, can we please just talk about lip gloss again? but they won’t listen to you.
in case you were wondering, which clearly you are because you’re all about totally reading my blog right now, i am still in ibiza and i am still LOVING it.
and yet, i have to say that in spite of my love for all things ibiza, i am starting to miss manhattan big time. i’ve been peepin’ all my fave sites and even my not so fave ones just to get a vibe on all things NYC.
my not so fave ones include some of the wordier ones which is kind of annoying for me becuz as many of you (hopefully — if you adore me a sufficient amount) remember, i am not a huge fan of reading. now, mind you, i don’t have like anything against it (reading) but i don’t really like it either and i don’t feel like i really have to explain it to you so step off and just go read some boring ass political blog or something if you want me to like be all rationalizing about being a hater when it comes to reading.
anyways, while in the midst of me missing new york and trying out this whole reading thing so i would miss it less, i came across this article about mysterious literary personality, jt leroy. now, since you know i don’t much care for reading, you probably have also correctly guessed that i don’t really follow the career trajectories and personal dramas of literary personalities. except in this case because i totally know this guy.
but what really gets me all riled up about this is that it’s mostly intriguing because they’re like trying to say that he’s not real and that he’s just some invention by some whack ass self promotional writer somewhere. i guess you could say that that struck this like chord with me because even though i’ve totally met this guy out and about in the upper echelons of glamourous nyc society it kind of made me question like the nature of reality.
i mean, i’m totally real right? and jt’s totally real but we like have feelings and it made me realize that someone could spread the same kind of way obviously jealous, petty rumors about me. so then, i don’t know if it’s like all these crazy club drugs or what but i completely started to question my own reality, you know? like am i real? or did someone with their own self serving agenda just invent me? like what IS real anyways? then i realized that there’s no way that me and jt are like not real and that i have like the ultimate proof of our existence. you know why?
becuz i’m on the internet, AKA the information superhighway, biotch!
then i googled jt leroy and saw that he’s on the internet too and therefore totally real! so therefore as you can see, that pretty much settles that.