last night DJTM and myself had to go over to get sue for the wrap party of the special formerly known as a “very starryshine christmas special,” which, as you know, morphed into the “friends of starryshine christmas special.”
i really think that sue could leave the hospital at this point. i mean, she was only in there for a bad back and no one needs to stay in the hospital that long for a bad back. i was thinking she was fakin’ it for the meds, right? she confessed that that was a pretty nice side bennie to her hospital stay but then disclosed the real reason she’s still at cedar’s — she’s having her townhouse repainted and didn’t want to commute in from the hamptons so she figured it was easier to just remain infirm for now — and plus the park 55 lacked amenities like the kickin’ meds she’s on (sue was all, “just let those jackass sheistering doctors try to say i don’t have a bad back!” and then she started up with that weird hack/cackle sound effect thing that always kind of freaks me and DJTM out).
she is, however, beginning to tire of sneaking out for four martini lunches at elaines, etc. and have-to-see-and-be-seen-at affairs like the friends of starryshine xmas wrap party. i’m totally tiring of it too! last night i had to smuggle in a party dress for her so she could wear it under her hospital gown and then we had to wait with the car service near the smoking lounge window which she was going to try sneak out of and then DUH! she couldn’t because who makes windows three flights up that you can sneak out of anymore??? especially near midtown! after numerous cell phone calls back and forth between the cedars smoking lounge and the car, she finally relented and agreed to just walk past admitting and sure enough, low and behold, no one stopped her. she acted like she was in fucken’ lockdown or something. even DJTM, who is normally so placid about that kind of thing was visibly peeved.
although we missed the actual real time broadcast of the show, sue’s shenanigans actually worked to our benefit because when we finally did get to the party, it was in full swing. when we arrived, we were greeted with a standing ovation and chants of DJTM!!! DJTM!! apparently, DJTM’s rap song was like this huge hit at the party. i didn’t even know he was like writing a rap song. i mean, i knew he was doing a song but i had no idea it was a rap.
i’m really happy for him. i truly am. there’s no reason he shouldn’t get all the recognition that i truly deserve if someone, who is not me, is going to get it. i mean, he is my man, after all. who i’m pissed at is sue. if she hadn’t been languishing in a hospital bed at cedar’s all this time, i think it’s entirely reasonable to assume that a very starryshine christmas special could’ve gone in an entirely different direction and really could’ve showcased my talents more.
on the plus side, the wrap party was at sky bar which was completely classy and very now and i’m really happy to have hosted it without having had to deal with any of the details that come with hosting a party. i basically took the deal out of details! or the de out of the details so there was only tails. something like that.
OK. you know how i have been raving about how totally amazing ibiza is and how i never want to leave? well, i would like to amend that statement to i cannot wait to get the fuck out of this fucked up fucken place as soon as freaken’ possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up this evening with a fucken’ eyebrow piercing!!!!
anyone who knows me knows that poorly planned facial piercings have no place in any of my ensembles! i am so totally fuming. why would some anonymous remaining fuckwit assclown stabbed this freaky ass thing through my skull? i am NOT a raver, i’m just kickin’ it with ravers and yes, as i’ve been tellin’ ya, i have been dressing the part while here but that does not mean that i am like some kind of raver for life or something which means that i am NOT into bad skanky ass facial piercings!
i am pretty sure that this all came about as a result of me drinking this weird drink that had like date rape drugs in it. which is totally OK and not becuz the guy who gave it to me was really foxy or anything like that (that would be kind of ew but maybe understandable if it was the right guy, you know?), but basically i could tell right away that there was some kind of a knock out drug in it becuz it had this really bitter taste that was extremely familiar to me in a pleasant sense memory kinda way so i was all, YAY! a roofie! just what i need to take the edge off after all of those animal tranks! (date rape drugs never knock me out, btw – i have a really fast metabolism and am just kinda high strung in general).
i dunno, it musta been the dr. prescribed sedatives that i took later or prior to having that drink because the next thing i knew i woke up with this shooting pain above my eye, lying face down on the bathroom floor with rubbing alcohol and q tips spilled all around my feet. so lame. my pants were still on though.
and of course my eurotrash entourage (who i am so fucken’ sick of at this point that it’s like absurd) were all playing dumb like they had no idea who did it or how it happened, so i just like charged at one of them fists first, chocked full of q-tips and tried to take her eye out (let me tell you it is really hard to jab somebody in the eye with a q tip, yo), then i told her to get the fuck out and that anyone who considered her a friend could just go right fucken’ with her.
the annoying part is that everyone stayed and they’re still here but that’s just as well because i’m here for like another week at least and now i wont get bored.
even though i’m out of sight for the moment in terms of being in the immediate media glare, i’m certainly not out.
well, i mean I sort of am. out of it, that is. i am actually out of my mind. but only sort of. and only when it comes to things like putting on makeup and selecting shoes and that’s only because i’m just not used to doing all the club drugs they have here in ibiza. but that like hardly matters anyways because everyone here dresses like they’re going to a rave all the time anyways. so i guess i’m like out of it in a good way.
and you know what? even though i make a point of being exceedingly fashion forward most of the time, that is totally great for me with the state i’m in right now. i’ve simply been too wasted most of the time since ive been here to really put an outfit together, you know? it’s a lot easier to be in a place where you can wear any and everything in your closet as long as it’s sparkly or shimmery or neon.
i’m telling ya, i totally love it here so much that i’m ok with it. i’m ok with not having been abreast of the trends for the past couple of weeks and that i’m not rocking fat designer threads all over the place and being mobbed by paparazzi and put on best or even worst dressed lists or featured in gossip columns. that’s why people like me, come here, n’kay? to escape the glare, n’kay?
but you know one thing that i am not now nor will ever be OK with? I will like never wear one of those live strong bracelets. ugh! i could fucken’ care less than anything about how glowy and cool lookin’ it is on the dance floor. last night one of my entirely too raved out entourage here suggested that i deck myself out with their livestrong bracelet because it would be shiny and totally glow in the dark on the dance floor and all that. i was all,
first of all, i was all, what are you thinking, nameless entourage ho? it will totally make us look like the worst kind of rednecks like EVER because i don’t give an F if it’s for a good cause, it’s going to completely brand us way pedestrian americans and that’s not what i feel i should be recognized for when in europe, and nextly, that’s just going to have be where i draw the line when it comes to shiny sparkly fashion items.
so i guess what i’d like to say in summation is that i know i’m relaxing my couture standards a bit while in ibiza to blend in with the party peeps here, but i’m not subjecting myself to the misguided fashion dictates of any well meaning bracelet campaign. and that goes for any and all kaballah related wrist wear as well.
you’ll have to excuse my week long absentia from the blog-o-sphere (and if you find that you just can’t find it in your heart to do that, then you can F right off). i have been fully partying october away in ibiza. after it became clear that things with me and pete were totally not meant to be, i just had to like transcend the drama and pain and nurture myself, you know?
thank god for my brilliant idea of going to ibiza, the premiere spanish party isle — it’s been just the place to get away from it all, and october is fully the right time of year to be here. you may be asking me (in your head, of course, where i can really only imagine — but like don’t want to — what you’re imagining) but starryshine, how is going to ibiza and partying and socializing and mixing it all up with the best and most beautiful of your generation any diff from what you do in midtown?
i can only answer that by saying that it is TOTALLY diff. first of all, it’s in a totally other part of the world and may be as far away as to be on a totally other continent (not sure) and the native language here is completely different than my native uptown new york accent. then, second of all, there’s the general vibe of ibiza which is just completely and totally more laid back than NYC. so basically, what i’m saying is, don’t even bother to ask your ass off about it in the comments section because, provided you were reading and not skimming, i just settled it for you.
anyways ive been totally partying! i’m happy to report that i am very close to forgetting about pete entirely due to my tried and true method of taking numerous and varied mind altering substances. at the space closing party, i was very nearly hospitalized but luckily sugar was on hand to let people know that when my eyes roll all the way back in my head like that, i’m totally NOT having a seizure, ok? it simply means that i’m enjoying myself with abandon and that i can’t be bothered with high concepts like reality right just then.